Television

I’m a big fan of television; the invention. I think TV is amazing. Think of all the mind-blowing things you’ve seen on TV that you would never see in real life. The birth of baby pandas, the Earth from orbit, the fall of the Berlin wall… TV is a medium that has enormous power and has shaped our lives far more than anyone would like to admit. Those who read the Daily Mail would have you believe that TV is mostly sex and violence, and interestingly, it has been shown that since advent of TV into the domestic home, the crime rate has gone up and the amount of sex indulged in has gone up too. Philosophically speaking, I’m a constructivist and TV has only gone to reaffirm my belief in this idea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constructivism_(learning_theory)). The good old goggle-box has been a first class tool in modifying people’s behaviour, but I don’t believe it has necessarily been for the worse (although I couldn’t argue it was entirely positive either).

Growing up, we had three TV channels until 1984 when ‘Channel four’ turned up. There will be many who are nostalgic about this state of affairs, but not I. I was only a young fellow and anything I thought was worth watching was on from about four in the afternoon onwards. In the mid to late eighties Sky TV turned up but my father had no interest in this so we stuck to the four terrestrial channels.  Adults of my generation have a shared cultural TV heritage that has its foundations in the fact that there was nothing else on the other two/ three channels.

As a kid, it felt like winter was nine months long and what could a boy do of a long cold, dark, wet evening do other watch the TV. There are lots of shows that I watched as a kid that I believed were good, and I’m sure I liked them till I watched them as an adult. Some years ago I bought the ‘A-team’ on DVD and re-watched it; hilarious, fantastic fun and most entertaining. They even threw in a free episode of ‘Knight Rider’. I never knew what a lame show ‘Knight Rider’ was till I watched it as an adult. And if that wasn’t enough, I later watched an episode of ‘Air Wolf’. I can’t believe how weak that entire show was. Forty minutes of filler followed by five minutes of recycled footage of the helicopter. But regardless of my adult preferences, at the time I was suitably entertained.

I stopped watching TV properly around the mid-nineties. Between then and now there has been the odd hour or two here and there, but I’ve never watched TV the way I used or anything close. This began when I left for university in the early/ mid nineties; the campus enforced a strict TV licence policy and at the time I was far more interested in music so the TV fell by the wayside. When the mid/ late nineties arrived I was out of the habit and the grisly spectre of ‘reality TV’ had arrived. I’m not going to be one of those frightful bores who bemoan reality TV, but it isn’t to my taste, so there was little incentive to turn the TV on. Since then I’ve never really picked the habit back up. I would be lying if I said I didn’t watch some TV. My partner watches the box and from time to time (as we share a house), our orbits collide and so I catch bits of shows.

For me TV has fallen by the wayside and has been replaced by the computer. I’m far more interested in surfing the web, messing around with bits of software and other IT chicanery. It has gotten to the state that I frequently find TV is an insufficiently interactive media form me and I get bored. If TV (whether rightly or wrongly), has made a generation of kids suffer with ADHD, then one can only wonder what impact computers will have on the next generation.

Lego Star Wars miniature figures

Over a decade ago Lego introduced its range of Star Wars Lego models. These passed me by.

Recently I discovered the latest range of products and the super spiffy Lego mini figures that come with them. Words fail me as to how cool they are. My collection at present is tiny, I have Luke Skywalker (original Ep 4), Han Solo (original Ep 4), Princess Lea Organa (original Ep 4) , Obi one Kenobi (original Ep 4), Chewbacca and Darth Vader. I’m smitten. I want more. They are so cool, to the point that they make me gush like twelve year old girl describing the twilight saga. Enough, here are some pictures.

Burgers

Bland and greasy, the only flavour is the washed out tomato sauce that has soaked into an already soggy bun (which is threatening to fall apart with the least provocation). I think we’ve all had burgers like these. They are usually from some fast food emporium that even manages to make the pickle taste of water.

I don’t imagine I’m on my own when I say I love a good burger, and I think good is the operative word here, because it’s easy enough to get a burger, but a good one, that takes a little more effort.

If you speak to any serious connoisseur of beef burgers they will tell you with unblinking severity that the only meat to use is ground chuck (the flavoursome meat from the shin from the cow), and they are likely to have a nasty attack of the jim-jams if you use the word ‘lean’. “You need the fat to hold in the moisture. Kill the fat and you kill the burger”, they will tell you, with flecks of foam at the corner of the mouth. They’re not wrong, but they’re not exclusively right either.

The best burgers I can make are veggie burgers. Seriously! I have to put this in context because I’m talking about using a ready made burger, and this is the crux. Any pre-made burgers I’ve bought have been frightful in the level off grease that has come out of them. They have lacked any taste or texture and have generally been the culinary equivalent of a prostate exam. No, despite being a lover of animal flesh, the only burgers I eat with any regularity are veggie burgers, and although they don’t taste as good as a proper beef burger, they have a superior texture to any ready-made burger.

Here’s how I make a veggie burger.

Firstly I fire up the grill (I never fry burgers). I grill the veggie burgers from frozen, that way the outside can get quite crisp whilst the inside remains moist – and nothing is less appealing than a dried out veggie burger. The variety I use are quite thin so I place two per bun, and usually one burger is about right. The burgers come from Tesco and are just soya, no breadcrumbs, no lumps of vegetables, just soya.

Next, toast that bun. I always use a wholesome brown bread bun – purely because it is healthy, no other reason. Whatever bun you use, cut in half and toast the inside surfaces – you need to do this to limit how much of the condiments soak through as you don’t want a soggy bun.

Once your bun is toasted, let it cool on the grill so that it doesn’t ‘sweat’ and go soggy; it should take a couple of minutes tops. After it has cooled spread a thin layer of mayo on the bottom part of the bun, followed by some whole grain mustard to mix in.  If you like a strong flavour, drop the mayo and whole grain and go straight for the English mustard.

On top of this you want to add a layer of gherkin (pickle to our American friends), the amount and how thick you cut it is entirely up to your sense of taste. I like lots and I frequently throw in some sliced jalapenos.

The next layer is some sauce, and I can recommend some barbeque sauce to go on top of the gherkin. If you want to spice it up, why not throw some Tabasco or peri-peri into the mix.

Meanwhile, on the bun lid; some finely sliced lettuce along with some thinly sliced tomatoes should be placed on top of a decent layer of mayonnaise.

Once the burgers are just about cooked, on goes the cheese. Don’t mess about with good quality cheese; it needs to be those disturbingly plastic cheese slices. One per burger please.

So the burgers are cooked, the cheese has melted, and the buns are ready. On to the base we slap the burgers, followed by another quick squeeze of barbeque sauce and then on with the lid. And that’s it. Eat that bad-boy whilst it’s good and hot.

Fighting Fantasy Books

As a kid growing up in the seventies come eighties, most of our fun was had outdoors. I’m not going to go one of those desperately dull diatribes about how the kids of today have no imagination and are permanently plugged into their playstations (or what-have-you), because I don’t subscribe to it. I’m just saying that we used to play outside a lot because a lot of the toys/ games we had were quite dull and the computers of the time were crap. Seriously crap. If you’re the same age as me then you will remember loading computer games from cassettes that had monstrously huge load times and they were mostly not that good. Quality distractions that could be enjoyed indoors outside were few and far between.

The fighting fantasy books were the real Tabasco. For those not in the know they are a combination of book and role playing game (a blog on Star Trek and then a Dungeons and Dragons-esque book – could this guy get any cooler you ask?). The series began with the title ‘The warlock of firetop mountain’ (originally the brain child of Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson), required the reader to employ a pencil, eraser and two dice in order to play. Throughout the story there are numerous decisions to be made which required turning to a particular entry in the book. Every so often monsters would appear that had to be fought using a simple but ingenious system that pivoted around the rolls of the two dice.

Each book only had one correct solution and it usually took several attempts to work it out.

I loved these books because they offered all the things the computers of the day couldn’t supply. They were fast, exciting, and the graphics were super cool. Best of all, my mother would happily furnish me with books from the series because they were well, books, and books had to be good for young minds. Some of the titles were superbly written and offered a taxing but achievable challenge, others were insanely hard and cheating had to be employed. I don’t know of anyone who played these books who didn’t use their finger as a bookmark on the previous entry whilst exploring the options available to them at some time or another.

By the end they had over fifty titles but by this time I had grown up and moved on to greener pastures. I mention this because I recently bought a set of these books on e-Bay for a ridiculously low price and I have to say it was grand to revisit my youth. The level of imagination and creativity in some of these books is highly impressive, and some of the book art is amazing. If you have as much as a passing interest in the fantasy genre and ever get the chance to have a goosey at the early books I would recommend it.

Whatever happened to Commander William Riker?

My partner and I enjoy Star Trek: The next generation. We have the DVD box set and all the films and we have watched every episode at least three times. Vicky has very fond memories of watching ST:TNG with her father and she has an emotional bond with this show. I’m a big Sci-Fi nerd and enjoy most things related to this genre.

So what happened to William Riker? I know this is not the most germane of matters, what with the show expiring about seventeen years ago, but we have recently been re-watching the show and Riker goes from being this up and coming “wunderkind” in the first season, to a shouty dullard whose only function is to declare a red alert and call for the shields to be raised.

We watched the first season and Riker charges around the cosmos, being the big brave action hero and bedding his way through a plethora of women. Naturally, an archetype of the ideal of western masculinity and perhaps a role model to us all (I remember ST:TNG when it was first aired on UK terrestrial TV and I am as impressionable as wet clay – sans the charisma). By season two Riker has grown 1) a beard and 2) a gut.

Now, I’m no ideal of the male specimen, but neither is my stock and trade my appearance. Riker comes back fat and hairy and at this juncture his character sinks into decline.

Obviously, the superb acting skills of Patrick Stewart make the role of the captain take greater precedence, and this continues till Riker is eventually eclipsed, but I don’t think that Riker’s beard (the sort worn by men who drink ‘real ale’ and wear socks with their sandals), could possibly have helped.

For those that care, the original idea in ST:TNG was to split the role of captain across two characters. Picard would be the completive aspect of Kirk whilst Riker would personify his more active (and rambunctious), nature. Ultimately, Riker gets subsumed however the actor, Jonathan Frakes, who portrays the aforementioned commander, does take up directorial duties and orchestrates numerous episodes. In his career to date, Jonathan Frakes produces the second best Star Trek film (First Contact) and also plums a pretty grim nadir when he knocks out the ‘Thunderbirds’ film.

Whilst Jonathan Frakes has had many roles and duties in his career, he will always be Commander Riker, and in fairness  he always did a pretty good job of raising those shields and getting the red alert, alerting.

Chicken and Mushroom Soup

I love mushrooms and I'm always a little dismayed that 95% of all mushrooms on offer at the supermarket are Portobello mushrooms. That's right, those wee button mushrooms that look so pretty - Portobello - those enormous mushrooms you could float a cat on - Portobello - an yes, those plain, white mushrooms that are the unsung heroes of many a bolognaise - Portobello. They are all the same variety, just picked at different stages of their growth.

But I digress, if like me you enjoy a bite to eat but only have limited prowess in the kitchen, then this recipe is for you. It makes a delicious, hearty and wholesome soup that is ideal as a spot of lunch in the darkest depths of winter. You can use whatever mushrooms you like in this recipe although you will find that Portobello work just fine, and because they are going to be soup, it doesn't matter if they are none too fresh or none too pretty.

All measurement are approximate:

750g of Portobello mushrooms.

2 litres water

150g of button mushrooms (or any other kind you want - these are to make everything look pretty)

50ml Garlic oil

100g of Chicken meat

The stock of one roast chicken

To serve:

Fresh single cream

Salt & Pepper

Firstly, you need some chicken stock. I don't mean that rubbish that come in a plastic bag but the proper chicken stock you get from a roast chicken. Here's my method. Roast your chicken in a Pyrex dish that is only marginally larger than the chicken. Midway through the roast remove the chicken from the dish and pour out the stock into a Pyrex jug (rinsing the dish with a little boiling water to clear everything out). Stick your chicken back in the dish and then back in the oven, and when it is done roasting repeat the stock draining exercise.  Ideally this wants to cool and sit in a fridge overnight. In the morning it should have separated into fat and a jelly of chicken stock. Scrape the fat off and dispose of it. You now have some first class, highly tasty chicken stock that has no added salt or any other rubbish. Good for you.

Coarsely chop 750g of mushrooms and sling them into a big pan with the water. I bring mine to the boil and then leave them to simmer for a few hours. After an hour or two slap that delicious chicken stock in and then leave it for another hour or so.

Meanwhile, quarter the button mushrooms and very gently fry them in the garlic oil. You want to subtly flavour the mushrooms with garlic but you don't want actually add real garlic as it will have a strong back of the throat flavour if you are not careful. You can buy garlic oil but that is a mugs game as it is painfully easily to make; here's how. Peel several bulbs of garlic. Place the garlic in air tight container and fill with the oil of your choice and leave for a few months. Many folk swear by olive oil, but this already has its own distinct flavour and really the purpose of flavoured oils is to gently infuse a flavour into food. I normally use a good quality vegetable oil and then what you end up with is a general purpose oil that tastes only of what it was flavoured with. You can flavour oil with just about anything and they are cheap and easy to make.

Anyway, once you have simmered the mushrooms with the chicken for as long as you feel like, put the whole lot in a jug blender and blend. I normally make mine super fine but some prefer a more rustic soup with larger bits. It is entirely up to you.

Once the soup is blended add it back into the pan. Add to this the sautéed button mushrooms. Also, add some chicken meat. You can use breast or whatever, but what I tend to do is pick the roast chicken carcass over and find all the tasty bits of meat on the underside of the chicken as well as the dark meat of the thighs (this is the best tasting meat on the bird if you ask me). Chop the meat up and sling it in the pan. This just needs to a gentle warming through and then it is ready to serve.

You can eat it as it is, although adding a small dollop of fresh single cream usually finishes the dish. You will need to add a little salt and pepper, but I think it is better to that in the bowl rather than in the pan. When you dish up, make sure everyone get some of the button mushrooms and chicken meat from the bottom of the pan.

Happy New Year

Happy 2012! I assume that most of the inhabitants of merry old England awoke with a hang-over (or are now dealing with the joys of the come-down). Regardless, I hope all had a splendid night.

My partner furnished me with some *proper* curry – the theme being more obscure dishes along with some very enjoyable wines. For those of you who have two minutes to mark, we enjoyed:

Chick peas for nibbling

…page 18 of ‘curry easy’ by Madhur Jaffrey

A tremendous little dish for enjoying with a glass of fizz, this is essentially just some tinned chick peas baked with spices but the resultant dish is something that is tasty, at no point over powering and incredibly more-ish. The added bonus to this dish is that it couldn’t be any healthier and is fairly straight forward to make. Utterly recommended.

Peshawari Broth with Oyster mushrooms and fish

…page 41 of ‘curry easy’ by Madhur Jaffrey

This is a beef broth with chunks of white fish and whole oyster mushrooms afloat in it. The stock is impregnated with a variety of spices but the resultant dish has this intensely complex flavoured broth with the fish and mushroom to offer textural and flavour contrast. I much prefer these kinds of soups to the heavier/ thicker soups that utilise coconut milk/ cream or huge amounts of pureed vegetables. This is a really pleasant soup that feels light but is chock full of flavours; a very interesting experience in terms of the contrasting textures. A bit of a palaver to make, I’m told.

Sea Bass in Green Chutney

…page 51 0f 100 essential curries by Madhur Jaffrey

I’m a big fan of whole cooked fish and I find that cooking the fish on the bone gives a much better flavour and texture, although I recognise that it can be a real pain at times in terms of the bones. The green chutney flavouring that is rubbed onto the outside of this dish is astounding in its depth of flavour but also has this strange kind of refreshing-ness to it. I’m afraid that I can articulate the flavour into mere words but you will have to take my word on it that this dish is a winner.

Served with…

Courgette and Green Pepper ‘Sabzi’

…page 158 of Madhur Jaffrey’s ultimate curry bible by Madhur Jaffrey

The best ever green vegetable side dish ever, this sabzi is fresh, crunchy, packed with flavour and just enlivens any dish it is served with. It does take some skill to get everything piping hot and cooked without the vegetables loosing their snap, and should they lose afore-mentioned snap, it becomes a very average side dish (the magic of this sabzi is the crispness of the vegetables). I have to be honest and say that this dish is a frequent accompaniment in our house but my partner cooked it up for me because she knows just how much I love it. God bless that girl.

Along side…

Rice with fleas

Just plain basmati rice boiled with some onions seeds to give flecks of black (or fleas as we call it); nothing special or clever, but then nothing to detract from the flavours of the fish and sabzi.

After all these delicious comestibles I spent the rest of the evening bemoaning my distended stomach and relishing such an enjoyable meal. Happy new year one and all.